You know that I believe that destiny isn’t pre-written and that we shape it in motion through our choices and thoughts. Also, if there’s one thing life keeps teaching me, it’s that becoming oneself is, thankfully, not a straight line. It loops, spirals and leaps.
I just finished reading a Sufi classic from the 12th century, The Conference of the Birds by Farid Attar, and I wanted to share its essence with you. Because even though it was written centuries ago, it reads like a roadmap, of loops, spirals and leaps, for anyone trying to shape their destiny from within.
The poem tells of a journey through seven valleys. These valleys, are the emotional seasons we all cycle through (in relationships, creative work, healing, purpose, identity, you name it.) Of course understanding them doesn’t fix life, but it does make it make sense.
So here’s my 21st century take of the seven valleys:
🔍 The Valley of Seeking
You are in this valley when something in your life feels “off.” You might still be functioning, showing up, doing what’s expected but inside, you know you want more. Not more achievements or things, but more truth, more alignment, more honesty with yourself. What I learnt is that you won't be able to leave this valley unless you start paying attention to what your life is really telling you.
❤️🔥 The Valley of Love
This valley starts when something -or someone- ignites you. It could be a dream you keep having, a new path, a person, a creative idea, or a “you” that feels more alive. It excites you and scares you at the same time. For ever I seemed to revel in this valley (sigh!) but I’ve learned that fear keeps me there, and I feel fear when something matters. In the valley of love we have to let ourselves care, because caring is what gives us the courage to move.
🧩 The Valley of Knowledge
Here, we begin looking inward with more honesty. We read, reflect, ask questions, journal, learn, unlearn, and try to understand our patterns. It’s not always rarely comfortable, and clarity never arrives all at once. This valley is best travelled, I find, without the weight of judgment coupled with a no-nonsense outlook. That’s what allows us to start separating truth from noise.
✂️ The Valley of Detachment
In this valley, awareness leads to change. You realize you can’t continue as the old version of yourself. Certain habits, roles, expectations, and even relationships no longer fit. Letting go can feel heavy and sometimes painful, but it’s necessary and honest. What I’ve learned in this valley is that detachment is less about “cutting people out” but about being ruthless in choosing what/who truly supports who we’re becoming.
🔗 The Valley of Unity
This valley comes when you soften to life and it brings a sense of relief. Life starts to feel more connected and supportive. You meet people who feel aligned, opportunities unfold more naturally, and you don’t feel like you’re fighting everything all the time. The thing is that unity isn’t found by seeking approval, but when you stand in your truth… and everything starts connecting!
🌀 The Valley of Bewilderment
And just when things seem clear, this valley shakes everything up again! Attar had a knack for plot twists. Confusion returns, we may feel lost, question our progress, and doubt ourself. It feels like a setback, but it isn’t. It’s our opportunity for reset. A humbling experience that melts the ego and opens new doorways.
✨ The Valley of Nothingness
This is, I find is the most difficult of valleys to go through. It’s where we stop forcing outcomes and allow life to unfold, from a place of maturity. It’s when we choose honesty, simplicity, and alignment over control. Not easy to stop gripping but when you do, what’s right for you stays with ease and what isn’t leaves without drama. This is the valley of freedom, and should be flown with trust.
***
We circle through these valleys many times in our life time, of course. Growth isn’t a ladder! But ultimately, the real value is learning to recognize the terrain so we can move through it with intention, not fear.
Oh and it blows my mind that a 12th century chemist from Khorassan, described an inner roadmap so accurate it could guide us through burnout, reinvention, heartbreak, career change, healing, and purpose in 2025.
I hope this was useful, whichever valley you’re flying over right now.
Heartfuly,
Ratiba
PS: Had you heard of this poem before?
