Our brain is fast!
Its primary job being to detect threat, discomfort, tension and moves us toward relief quickly. A relief that can look like changing the job, pulling away from someone, saying yes too quickly, saying no defensively, or doing whatever feels safest in the moment.
So that speed kept us alive as a species, but in modern life, it can make us misread signals. I’ve learned that an uncomfortable feeling is not always a call to escape. Sometimes it’s simply information or data. Something asking to be understood before it’s acted on.
In my social transformation work, when something wasn’t working, we used the 5 Whys, a method developed by Toyota’s founder to trace problems back to their root. Instead of fixing the surface problem, we kept asking “why?” until we uncovered the real driver. The first why may have pointed to coordination, the second to capacity, but the deeper why revealed incentives. What looked like a coordination problem was really about accountability and ownership.
It works just as well in life and we can use the same logic on our own reactions.
Let’s say you feel angry.
Why? “Because they disrespected me.”
Why does that matter so much? “Because I felt dismissed.”
Why did it affect you? “Because I already feel insecure in that space.”
Why? “Because I don’t fully trust my competence.”
Why? “Because I tie my worth to performance.”
Now the issue isn’t the comment, it’s identity.
Or take restlessness: “I need to change something.”
Why? “I’m bored.”
Why (are you bored)? “I’m not growing.”
Why (do you think you are not growing)? “I stopped challenging myself.”
Why did you? “I avoid situations where I might fail.”
Why? “I’m protecting my self-image.”
Now it’s not about external change, it’s about self-protection.
Psychologically, this matters because the brain is wired to reduce discomfort. It prefers a fast explanation over an accurate one. If you don’t slow down and examine the root, you end up reacting to the first story your mind produces. And that’s how patterns repeat.
When you identify the root cause of a feeling, you regain cognitive flexibility. That helps you move from automatic response to deliberate choice, so you stop solving the wrong problem.
Why 5 times?
It appears that five is the sweet spot, enough to move past the surface story without spiraling into over-analysis.
I share this technique here because it impacts how you shape your maktoub or destiny, by responding to the real driver underneath your emotional spikes.
So before your next big decision, try this:
1) Notice the feeling.
2) Take a breath.
3) Ask WHY? five times.
Here’s the catch, your brain will want to stop at the first answer, because it’ll be uncomfortable… don’t! See what your fifth answer reveals, that’s where things actually begin to shift 😉
And if you want help turning that fifth answer into a real next step, here’s how Maktoub Studio tools can help:
If what you uncover is lack of structure or direction, Maktoub in Motionworkbook helps you design your next move with clarity instead of urgency.
If what you uncover is emotional distortion or recurring patterns, the Inner Drama Glossary helps you name the feeling precisely, cause precise naming changes brain activity and behavior.
If what you uncover is a misalignment between who you are and how you’re acting, the Sacred Flow deck helps you recalibrate through reflection on abundance, intention and drive rather than reaction. Each card offering a bold prompt plus a short reflection or action. It’s practical guidance you can carry into everyday decisions!
Remember: Intentional questions create intentional lives!
Heartfuly,
Ratiba
